Mah 4 Fun

http://www.math.ualberta.ca/~runde/jokes.html

"What is Pi?"
A mathematician: "Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter."
A computer programmer: "Pi is 3.141592653589 in double precision."
A physicist: "Pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005."
An engineer: "Pi is about 22/7."
A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"
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A stats professor plans to travel to a conference by plane. When he passes the security check, they discover a bomb in his carry-on-baggage. Of course, he is hauled off immediately for interrogation.
"I don't understand it!" the interrogating officer exclaims. "You're an accomplished professional, a caring family man, a pillar of your parish - and now you want to destroy that all by blowing up an airplane!"
"Sorry", the professor interrupts him. "I had never intended to blow up the plane."
"So, for what reason else did you try to bring a bomb on board?!"
"Let me explain. Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. That's quite high if you think about it - so high that I wouldn't have any peace of mind on a flight."
"And what does this have to do with you bringing a bomb on board of a plane?"
"You see, since the probability of one bomb being on my plane is 1/1000, the chance that there are two bombs is 1/1000000. If I already bring one, the chance of another bomb being around is actually 1/1000000, and I am much safer..."
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"Divide fourteen sugar cubes into three cups of coffee so that each cup has an odd number of sugar cubes in it."
"That's easy: one, one, and twelve."
"But twelve isn't odd!"
"It's an odd number of cubes to put in a cup of coffee..."
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One day, Jesus said to his disciples: "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9."
A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter: "What, on Earth, does he mean by that?"
Peter replied: "Don't worry - it's just another one of his parabolas."
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A pure and an applied mathematician are asked to calculate 2 * 2.
The applied mathematician's solution: We have

2 * 2 = 2 *1/(1-1/2). The second factor on the right hand side has a geometric series expansion 1/(1-1/2) = 1 + 1/2 +1/4 + 1/8 + .... Cutting off the series after the second term yields the approximate solution 2 * 2 = 2 *(1 +1/2) = 3. The pure mathematician's solution: We have 2 * 2 = (-2) *1/(1-3/2). The second factor on the right hand side has a geometric series expansion 1/(1-3/2) = 1 + 3/2 +9/4 + 27/8 + ..., which diverges. Hence, the solution to 2 * 2 does not exist. ----------------------------------------------------------------
In a class, a math professor claims that he can prove everything under the assumption that 1+1=1.
A student challenges him: "Then prove that you're the pope!"
He ponders for a moment and then replies: "I am one, and the pope is one. Therefore, the pope and I are one."
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Q: What caused the big bang?
A: God divided by zero. Oops!